So my life just got busy for the first time in ages with all the University visits over half term, seeing friends on a far more regular basis and band practicing. Now I'm back at college it seems like things have started to get worse again.

Although I was busy and didn't really get as much rest as I normally would, half term was one of the best weeks I've had for a long time but now I'm back at college it takes me further away from my friends and makes things harder to organise. Plus I have more work to keep up with.

But now my best friend from school is going out with the lead singer of my band and I feel like a massive third wheel around them on the rare occassion I do see Sam (my friend), because it seems like he's distracted and couldn't give a shit about hanging out with me much anymore.

Additionally, whenever I have arranged or attempted to arrange to do things with him, he says he's doing something when actually he's going off to see his new girlfriend. So basically, he's lying to me about having to do other things instead of just saying he's made plans. He has already asked me whether I'm alright about them going out, and I said yes because that's not the problem. I made it clear I just didn't want him to leave me out of doing things with either one of them because they're both my friends and he assured me that I wouldn't be left out. Sounds like bullshit to me right now tbh.

Since they've been going out, I've had far less contact with each of them and I'm getting really bummed out about it. There's nothing I can do about it, and although Sam has expressed a kind of "Bros before hoes" (pardon the expression) approach, it really doesn't sound like that at all.

Last week he said that he was going to be playing squash both days of this weekend, but I've just found out that he's going to be spending the day with Corrie. So what the fuck happened to squash? He just seems like he's being really underhand and my mum seems to think the same. Her advice was to keep an eye on everything he's saying to me about what's happening because I don't really know if I can trust him as much as i thought.

Things seem to be stacking up against Sam though. I'm beginning to feel sour about the situation, my mum seems to agree, and another friend of mine (whom Sam previously expressed a liking for) advised strongly against their relationship from the beginning, saying the facts (i.e. He's 17 and she's 15, her mum is quite protective of her and he seemed to change his feelings pretty quickly) which I also agree don't make sense.

So far i've come to the conclusion that this has the potential to be a very short relationship, or I'm going to end up feeling like shit for a long time, or we're going to fall out over it, which is what is likely to happen if I accuse him of lying and all this. It's not like he's totally excluded me though, so i don't really know how to feel about it...

Another thing is that he actually thanked me the other night for introducing the two in the first place, but i never meant them to be in that kind of relationship. I wanted to set up a small group of friends so that I could get into songwriting and such, so Corrie (the singer) was a good person to get on board. However, knowing that she was 3 years younger than me I thought it best to bring Sam along because I might come off very badly if it was just me and her. Evidently this idea has backfired, and the two of them still want to keep writing songs and things but I feel like I'm just being used for their own entertainment now. I'm the only instrumentally talented person out of the 3 of us and i end up writing all the music, and nearly all of the lyrics as well. Sam does nothing when he was supposed to be playing keyboards and Corrie does sing but only once I've done most of the work.

I'm thinking of just writing some stuff for them, but taking the stuff I feel right now, turning them into lyrics for my own use and keeping my best work to make my own songs like a solo project. I'll be damned if I have to do all the work to keep inside a group of my own friends. They're just gonna have to put themselves out if they want me to continue tbh.

Quite a long explanation I know, but thanks for reading it and any advice will be a big help... And obviously, if you'd like to get involved with writing a song with me, you're very welcome. Thanks again guys.